When Not Being Believed Becomes a Second Form of Violence

“63% of sexual assaults are never reported. 75% of women who speak up at work are punished for it. And women—especially Black women—are dying in hospitals because doctors don’t believe their pain.”

Let that sink in.

This isn’t just about isolated incidents. It’s about a global epidemic of disbelief—a weapon dressed in skepticism, wrapped in politeness, and handed to us by systems, by strangers, and sometimes… by people who say they love us.

Today, I want to talk about a truth we’ve all felt but rarely name:

Disbelief is violence.

Not the kind that leaves visible scars.
The kind that leaves you questioning your memory, your mind, your very self.

Disbelief Is a Second Wound

When a woman finally finds the courage to speak her truth, she’s not just overcoming fear—she’s stepping into fire. And what often meets her there isn’t compassion or justice. It’s suspicion. Minimization. Dismissal.

“Are you sure that happened?”
“Maybe you’re overreacting.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“What were you wearing?”

Disbelief forces us to relive our trauma.
It isolates us.
It gaslights us.
It protects the abuser and punishes the truth-teller.

And in institutions like medicine, law enforcement, religion, and the workplace, that disbelief becomes systemic—denying us not just dignity, but healing, justice, and safety.

When Women Don’t Believe Women

During my powerful conversation with Dr. Pat—founder of Transformation Talk Radio—we explored this deeply painful truth: it’s not just men who doubt us.

Sometimes the loudest disbelief comes from other women.

That’s what makes the pain cut even deeper.

Dr. Pat reminded us of the heartbreaking story of Sinéad O’Connor, who in 1992 tore up a photo of the Pope on live TV to protest child sexual abuse within the Catholic Church. She was shamed. Shunned. Labeled crazy. Even fellow female artists turned on her.

But decades later, what she said was revealed to be true. And still—still—her song “Nothing Compares 2 U” was barred from her tribute after her passing.

What does it say about our culture when truth must bleed to be seen?

Why Aren’t Women Believed?

This question haunted me throughout the show. Why is our truth up for debate?

Here’s what Dr. Pat said that hit me in the gut:

“Because if people believe us, they have to self-reflect.
They have to ask themselves hard questions.
And many aren’t ready to do that.”

Belief requires empathy. It requires humility.
It challenges the listener to see themselves in our stories—and that’s uncomfortable. But necessary.

The Cost of Not Being Believed

The emotional, physical, and spiritual cost of disbelief is immense.

It creates invisibility.
It breeds shame.
It leads to silence.
And silence kills.

Not being believed has driven women into addiction, depression, and even death. Dr. Pat reminded us that many women in recovery have never been heard. Not in their trauma. Not in their healing. Not in their truth.

Because disbelief is layered.
It’s generational.
It’s racial.
It’s social.
And it’s personal.

So What Do We Do?

We start by believing.

Believe the woman who tells you she was hurt.
Believe the woman who says she’s tired.
Believe the woman who wants to change her life.
Believe yourself.

We stop asking “Why?”
And start asking:
“How can I help?”

That’s the shift. That’s the power move.

As Dr. Pat said so brilliantly:

“When you believe someone, you create ripples that free generations.”

The New Revolution

What we need now isn’t more permission.

What we need is each other.

Women rising together, not tearing one another down. Women making space for different experiences. Women amplifying the voices that have been silenced for far too long.

That’s why I created Something to Say.
That’s why I invite you to be part of this movement.
Because silence is no longer an option.

And to the woman reading this who’s been dismissed, doubted, or discredited—
We see you.
We believe you.
You are not alone.

Want to be part of the revolution?
Subscribe to my show, Something to Say with Jamie Shae, and join the community at guidedbyjamie.com—where women come home to their voice, their truth, and their power.

Because you were never meant to be silenced.
You were made to be heard.